Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Bebe Fevs

I wanted to share a personal journal entry from mid March. I meant to post this the very week I wrote it, but I never found the time. So here is a glimpse at what goes on my head and what ends up from pen to page:

March 16, 2012
This was a hard week. This was a challenging week. Babysitting is hard, but despite all the tiredness and drama, I still want a baby. I know it will be hard and challenging, and I'll feel more tired than I do, but I know I'll feel differently when its my own child. And I know that I'll have the support of my husband that I can count on. I know we aren't financially ready or probably emotionally, but I just can't shake this baby fever boiling up within me. I want a soft, cuddly, sweet, crying, pooping, hungry baby. I can't help it. But at the same time, every time i think there's a small, tiny, minute, chance I could be preggos, I freak out- the sick-nauseation-omg-tears freak out- because I know in reality we absolutely cannot afford to have a baby at the moment. So no baby, but a girl can dream. And the thing that makes it worse is that Garrett feels the same way, which makes it ten times more hard not to...{sigh}

love, Her

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